What one thing are you exceptionally good at?

Being positive/optimistic.

You've got the questions; I've got the answers.

Do you believe in luck?

I guess...I believe more in coincidence and karma. What you put into the world is what you'll get out of it. Spread love, not war. Yes, I am in a hippy mood this evening. :p

You've got the questions; I've got the answers.

I Remain..

 Your very existence makes me who I am. I believe Alanis was talking about Jesus :) or thats how I interpret it in her new song, I Remain. 

This is my 62 blog post and I think that's astonishing...in the best way possible. I have been thinking a lot about crossing bridges in life and how we must let go to those in our past, no matter how difficult it may be, to move on and start a new chapter in our lives. I really am not looking forward to saying goodbye to the friends I have had since 7th grade. Although we haven't always had classes together or been able to hang out all the time, they still all managed to leave an imprint on my heart. Especially those I've been close with since elementary. Oh Girl Scouts. 

Wow, this is making me sad. Gah. 

In other news, got my NHS tassel, and feel inspired to make positive and influential change on my body and on others. :) Inspire, excite, enthuse, create, ignite, light, start, jump, pop, power. I love words. Any other words that are awesome? Absurd, splendid, chipper, happiness, cacophony, plethora, succumb.

Smells like Summer.

Tonight, it smells like summer. Thought I'd aware my readers, if there are any :p

In six days, I will have 0 classes of high school left. In 19 days, I will be a graduate. In 21, days I will have a party. 

Okay, done with that sentence pattern, oh how I do not miss the dronings of eleventh grade English AP Language. I do, however, miss the structure of Searle. My teacher now is a great philosopher with awesome ideas and a passion for teaching and public speaking, but he has no structure. So, that makes me have to create the structure for myself, which usually doesn't end so well, as only the extreme makes an impression. We learned that through the movie, Heathers. 

Oh boy, I'm not sleepy at all but know that I'll regret staying up late when I wake tomorrow morning. To sleep or not to sleep; that is the question. 

You'll Always Be My Thunder, So Bring on the Rain.

His smile melts my heart as he holds me in his arms and whispers, "I love you. You're amazing!" It feels so right yet I know it is wrong for his heart belongs not to me but her. He only loves me like a brother, not as a lover, anymore. He denies our past but can't seem to stop toying with my heart. Takes my hands into his and says how much he misses me--staring into his eyes, that brown, brown sea, I'm lost and this is unhealthy. I need to get out of the past and be happy with what I got. Not fair to the present and everyone involved, oh God. I know it's dangerous to ask but why not me? Why not me? Why she? 

I need to stop listening to West Side Story music. And reading my blue old journal. Both things do not make for a good mood, yet Gilmore Girls does, so let's go watch that.

I also need to make my invitations to my grad party.. :)

Poker Faces, Phones, People, Pasts

   Alright, here I am. I don't recognize this place but I definitely have a sense that I've been here before. Now, I'm standing in a hallway filled with doors. All are locked but I have the keys, and I can only open one. Hands clenching, I ponder, why only one door? Why not two, three, or four? Do I choose the one closest to me or the one furthest away? The one who's door has all the answers or the one who's path will lead me to the answers.

   Alright, here I am. I wonder if you ever think of me; you probably do. But your poker face masks your feelings-oh so well. I still think of you, sadly. But not with anger or pride, but instead with a nostalgic pull at those memories. 

           Alright, enough of that sap. The tree has more to offer like leaves, twigs, and shade. Oh, it's also beautiful. Did I fail to mention its beauty? How rude of me, the tree is very vain so I suppose I'll mention it has the key to my heart. 

    Alright, I know I'm not making sense. I make sense to me though, and I guess that's all that matters. Poor Eleanor Rigby, such lonely people. You're not outdated, or forgotten. You're just under-appreciated. I appreciate you though. Thanks for your existence!  Kudos on just plummeting through the vast sea, like an otter or penguin, delving fast and far into the unknown. You would do that. I envy you for that. I couldn't even open a damn door. 

An Atypical Rant on Society and Teenage Dating

How does society go from eloquently, well thought out phrases and stanzas to profess one's love, with pages of ink splattering, intense and frenzied writing to now just a text message saying, "Heyyy," or worse, the "waz up?" conversation starter? I believe that if a guy wants to court me, he'll have to work at it. It will be a process that takes patience and persistance. Obviously, this will sort out the ones who truly care from the ones who just like my appearance. The end of high school is fast approaching (17 days!!! but hey, who's counting? :p) and I am very excited for the future. I can't wait til I can run again. Damn ankle. Running seems to be something so incredible to me so let's pray that my ankle makes a speedy recovery. 

         As I write this, it's like I am talking to someone in my head; how incredible. The brain perplexes me as it's such a miraculous instrument. 

I noticed also today that people LOVE to feel like another, at least one other person, "gets" them. As a culture, being alone is seen with a bad connotation, making one feel deserted and misunderstood. I, on the other hand, love being difficult, different, and unique, yet have my share of doubts every once in a while, especially on nights like tonight. Send me positive love.