Sometimes...The things one realizes after 8 days of Precious Moments

    Sometimes my lungs can't handle the air i'm breathing. I get pulled in a world of fantasy stuck in my head of stories. Sometimes I pay more attention to blinking and my heart thumping than my own thoughts. Sometimes I find love in the most inconvenient of times. Sometimes I realize things aren't meant to be. Sometimes I realize they are. That's what this week has shown me. 

     It's crazy to know how tired I get off of 5 hours of sleep a night. Encouraging, sharing, loving, sighing, being...how should I feel here? I'm in the middle, not stuck but merely floating, wading and lightly lapping the water to push towards the surface. Dangerously close to the edge of the bridge with one foot planted on solid ground. People think I'm fine now. But, I know they're wrong. I'm not okay, but I devote each day aiming to to be so one day. As long as I keep trying and holding on I'm sure some sort of positive change will come as my karma level musy be at an incredibly high and positive level. Oh well. 

Don't know what to think about this experience of CAM. I've gained close friends but lost who I thought I was and have become more confused about who I am. That's scary to me because if I can't figure out how can I understand anything else? Like 2 plus 2. Shouldn't equal four? Who knows...?

    I'm not as talented as many, prettier, skinner, funnier, nicer, more honest, or open, but I am me. That's all one can strive to be right? 

Alone, solitary, unaccompanied, lonesome, single, solus

  By that title, you're probably thinking this is just another teenage sob story about how alone and bored one feels...However, knowing me, what I say that's not what I mean, that it is not my point at all. The unexpected, unpredictable mind of mine has just used the thesaurus to drag you in, grab your attention with hopes that someone will read this. 

Now that you are reading this, whoever the hell you are, I must confess something: I am lonely (sometimes.) What do I do to solve this conundrum? Well, I sure don't wallow in sadness anymore, I call or text someone. Or better yet, I go to someone's house. But today, when I was feeling lonely, down, and out of it, Miss Stephanie Grayson calls me and makes my entire day ten thousand gazillion times better. :) Anywho, so yes, one can get out of the lonely pickle jar just by communication. 

On another note, I've been recording some covers of songs. I'd post them if I felt they were post-ready so hopefully one day they will be. Countdown for my CAM loves: 2 days! I hope they're packing. Cause packing es necesario. 

This has been my bum day, hence the lonely feelings. I've basically watched so much TV and acted like a "normal" teenager that I've gotten bored of normalness and will return to my unpredictable insanity lifestyle.  

Moral of this post: Get out, let go, be free and grounded. Know that you are never alone and I'm only a phone call away (if you want to make my day better too :p)